I Am Jack's Crochet Snail


Sometimes I get this crazy creative itch that goes kind of like this:

Hmm. I'm bored. (*fingers start to twitch*) Maybe I'll make something. (*fingers start to convulse*) I don't feel like working on any of THAT stuff though. (*convulsion spreads to rest of hand*) Eh. I don't feel like figuring out something new. (*hand forms into fist*) Fuck it, I'll watch some TV or something. (*fist connects with eyeball*) OW! (*hands grasp for nearest creative implement*) Fine. I'll makes something. (*asshole.*)

That's pretty much how it went last night. Okay, so I didn't quite punch myself in the face, but it sure felt like the bored toddler inside of my brain was about to. She was stomping her feet and whining so relentlessly that I'm fairly sure physical violence was right around the corner. I don't know how it would've gone down, but since getting in a fistfight with yourself is never a good thing, I went with crochet instead.*

*unless you are Jack's craft addiction. Then I love you and we should make out on my yin yang coffee table. It really defines me as a person.  

Anyway, this isn't so much a tutorial on how to make that cutie-pie crochet snail as a vague stream-of-consciousness rambling. But I will attempt to explain how I made him, which, by the way, was not originally intended to be a snail. It just kind of turned into one. I was showing it to the man (upside-down, I think), and he was like "Hey, it's a snail!"

Hmm. So it is. And he's a darn cute snail too. Do you ever feel like you don't actually make your crafty stuff, that instead you just kind of release it from its unmade prison? I believe it was Michaelangelo who said "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." Meaning, the artist just exposes beauty, he doesn't really make it. Art has its own spirit. I feel that way a lot. The snail isn't a Michaelangelo or anything, but he was waiting in his various strands of yarn, and I gave him his form. Kind of a nice thought, I think.

SOOO. Okay. Back from that little philosophical tangent.

How I made the snail (btw, I haven't the slightest clue how crochet patterns work, so I apologize. I will explain the best I can).
  1. I started out making a little ring of single crochet, and then spiraled around, increasing every other stitch. 
  2. Once the spiral wraps around a couple times, I started making bigger stitches every few stitches. So, I went from single, to half-double, then to double. The idea is to gradually increase the width of the stitches.
  3. Once you've made a few dc's, then it's time to start a new color. Do not tie off or cut the first yarn; you're going to pick it up again. Take your second color and hook it into the base of your last stitch, as in the beginning of the yellow in the picture above. Then proceed to hook the second color into the spiral, increasing the same way as you did with the first color. Hook the second color around until you've done a few dc's.
  4. Leaving the second color loose (once again, don't tie it off), go back to your first color and start hooking it into the spiral you just made with the second color, gradually going from dc, to halfdc, to sc. The idea is to decrease the stitch width gradually so it blends smoothly with the second color. I think I made 13 or 14 stitches, still increasing every other stitch (two stitches in a stitch, then one stitch, then two, and so on). That's confusing. You're making smaller and smaller stitches, but still increasing the number of stitches. Does that make sense? I hope so. Then you can tie off the first color. 
  5. Now tie your third color (pink in these pictures) into the base of the last dc of your second color (the same way you tied the second color into the first). Spiral around again, still increasing every other stitch, but this time make some triple crochets where you want it wider (the top of the snail's shell). Once you go around the top, start making smaller stitches again, until you get to bottom. Tie off the third color.
  6. Now go back to the second color and start stitching into the third color. Stitch dc's into the first 3 or 4 stitches, then make the last 2 triple crochets, to make his cute little face, and tie off. If you're super motivated, you could stitch in some little eyeballs. 
  7. I don't know about you, but now I sure need a drink.

Sorry this pic is so weird. I was shooting at night and my settings were all wonky.
Ihope that was somewhat understandable. I hadn't planned on making a tutorial, so I wasn't counting stitches or anything. I was really just goofing off with the yarn and out popped a snail.

Anyhow, if you're new here and want to hear about more awesome crafty stuff and possibly see me beat the crap out of myself, make sure you follow me. There's all sorts of ways to do it (Bloglovin' is my current personal favorite) over there on the sidebar. Cause I'm just so helpful like that.

Or something.


  1. You are so amazing and I think I love you. Okay, but seriously, this snail is one of the most precious things I've ever laid my eyes on!

  2. "I believe it was Michaelangelo who said "Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." "

    yeah, but ol' micky was kinda crazy. he also wrote poems about getting paint in his beard while he was painting the sistine ceiling:
    (from http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/poem/2010/01/labor_pains.html)

    "I've already grown a goiter from this torture,
    hunched up here like a cat in Lombardy
    (or anywhere else where the stagnant water's poison).
    My stomach's squashed under my chin, my beard's
    pointing at heaven, my brain's crushed in a casket,
    my breast twists like a harpy's. My brush,
    above me all the time, dribbles paint
    so my face makes a fine floor for droppings!

    My haunches are grinding into my guts,
    my poor ass strains to work as a counterweight,
    every gesture I make is blind and aimless.
    My skin hangs loose below me, my spine's
    all knotted from folding over itself.
    I'm bent taut as a Syrian bow.

    Because I'm stuck like this, my thoughts
    are crazy, perfidious tripe:
    anyone shoots badly through a crooked blowpipe.

    My painting is dead.
    Defend it for me, Giovanni, protect my honor.
    I am not in the right place—I am not a painter."

    that's kind of how i feel when i crochet for too long in a stretch...

  3. What a cutie! Thank you for the tut!
    I don't think that crochet is my thing, but I do it too from time to time--I make crochet beads.

  4. I've never done decreases with crochet and this might be the perfect way to start...plus a lot of my online user names are jsnail.

  5. Thank you ! I´ll try to do one for me It´s adorable!
    Hugs from Spain

  6. This is so pretty. I would like to invite you to enter my Giveaway. I am celebrating my blog's third birthday and would love to see you there.

  7. This is so stinkin' cute! I love the happy colors and the unexpectedness...it's a snail!

    Love it!

    And I would LOVE it if you'd share this at Feature Friday FREE-FOR-ALL going on right now!


    Hope to see you soon!

    P.S. I'm a new follower. : )


  8. Super cute snail. Never thought I would say those words lol.
    I am hosting a spring contest, come link up your spring posts for a chance to win.

  9. ummmm... have you been poking around inside my head? I totally understand how you did it and could probably follow your pattern without the pics! I adjust many hat patterns to the size I want but am never able to write the pattern because it would come out like your snail: do a little of this, then drop that and do this, count from here... Great idea!

  10. I haven't even finished reading the tutorial yet, but, dammit, that title just made me happy.

  11. I love your description. I have no clue, as you say yourself, how the patterns work. But this I did understand! Thank you so much!!

  12. This also could make a nice round afghan :)
    Love the snail its adorable.

  13. This also could make a nice round afghan :)
    Love the snail its adorable.


I'm not always great at replying to comments but I DO read every single one of them and I always reply in my head. So in my mind we've had this deep conversation about the meaning of life or whatever, and we're best friends, and we craft together on Sunday afternoons while drinking Mojitos and watching old Indiana Jones movies. So thank you for your comments. And now I want a mojito.

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