It's either cookies or poop fruitcake.

1.10.2014

If you put "lazy dying star" into google it gets confused, so instead here's a baby elephant imitating a lazy dying star

So apparently I need therapy, but I've decided instead of therapy I'm just going to talk to the internet. Because that always ends well.

Yeah sometime in the last six months I had kind of a weird slow meltdown where I both figured out a bunch of stuff about myself and also began the process of imploding like a dying star, but slow like a lazy dying star, or a dying star that is sort of indifferent to going out in a blaze of cosmically-appropriate glory. Like a dying star that needs therapy. Apparently.

So I'm going to clean up the blog a bit and get rid of some shit I don't like. It's probably going to change course a bit. But if you've followed my blog at all (you know, forever ago), then you know I am horribly unreliable when it comes to sticking to one topic. It's the ADD. Consider it a gift. A surprise when you visit. You could get cookies! Or a fruitcake. Or a fruitcake made of poop. 

You never know. EXCITING.

Crochet Granny Stripe Blanket!

4.22.2013


Started a new blanket! Primarily blues and greens with the occasional stripe of hot pink and ochre. It's very fresh and summery.

Now I just have to actually finish it.

PS yeah I know I don't really post much anymore. Life is bossy sometimes, you know?

Pinterest Love

12.26.2012

Who's feeling lazy and just wants to share some awesome today? Me. That's who.
No I did not see the Hobbit twice the first week it came out. That's absurd. I don't know what you're talking about. I am in NO WAY a Tolkien nerd who has secret fantasies of having a three-way with... Never mind. Here's a pin with a link to some totally uncool and not at all awesome patterns for nerdy Tolkien characters. 

Shut up.

We have a canopy bed that just looks kind of weird with these big empty wooden rails. There not sturdy enough to tie... stuff... to, but maybe I could try the little lights. Or, maybe it would just look tacky. What do you think? Pin here.


Hey look at that, it's a rad crochet blanket that's all completed and everything. You think you're so awesome, with your drive to finish stuff and general motivation towards life and remembering to eat breakfast and cleaning lint traps. Whatever. Pin here, so you too can feel GREAT about your "projects-in-progress" closet.

In other news, I think I might have issues with completing things I start. Like, The Monster. (Oh hey, I remember you!)


There's this weird box on a stick that sits out in front of your house that this person in a uniform visits every day but Sunday and sometimes puts stuff in. Usually that stuff is shrieking discounts at the crappy grocery store on the other side of town and just goes directly into the garbage can without ever making it past the front walkway. But SOMETIMES the box has something special, an envelope with a handwritten address and INSIDE the envelope with the handwritten address is a handwritten note from someone who lives far away but you used to share localized space with. And then you read the note and reverse the process and then the first person visits their box on a stick one day and gets a similar special envelope from you.

So this is a cool way to make the envelope even more special. Pin here.


I have a thing for maps. Obviously. Pin here. (It just goes back here because the original pin went to spam. Sorry! If you have the site link, let me know so I can fix it)

Don't forget that if you want to join the community craft pinboard "Do Something Awesome," you can comment and let me know. Just make sure you give me your pinterest name, cause I'm not a psychic, people.

I'm also starting a community board for all of us who are obsessed with retro and vintage everything: "Retro Vintage Posse!" It's brand new so join up and spread the word. Comment here or email if you'd like to be added as a contributor, and then you can brag about how awesome and important you are. Because we all know that personal importance is measured by how often you pin stuff. Obviously.

Yes I'm feeling snarky this morning. I apologize. My coffee swears it's caffeinated but I think it's lying. I get snarky and angry towards my coffee and then the snark bursts out into a generalized radius of damage when I don't have an appropriate level of caffeine in my system. And by "appropriate," I mean "all of it."


Thank the Fire

12.24.2012



So, where have I been the last 5 months?

It's Christmas Eve and rather than spending it with my family, I am sitting by the grey light of a large window, listening to the rain and reflecting on the strange way this year worked out. It was somehow both expected and unexpected.

My first post of 2012 included the mantra "burn, baby, burn!" and an observation of phoenixes. At the time I intended it as a catalyst for our creativity, to burn with a furnace inside so hot that you must create, get it out of yourself or risk turning yourself to ash. Since then I found myself tossed into a furnace and my life burned to dust, and I realized that sometimes nothing new can be created unless the past growth is destroyed. Like a forest fire. I think sometimes that when we grow, our branches reach for the light in the most direct way possible. Unfortunately, straight up is sometimes not the best route. If all the branches grow straight up, they become crowded and then some die in the shadow, leaving the entire tree stunted. Some of the branches have to take a slower, longer route, and be content with filtered light. It's a more balanced method of living.

I found myself grown like a stunted tree. Some of my branches were reaching desperately for the light, but they could not pull enough from the sun and I started to wither. The inner branches died. My trunk was strong enough that when the fire started, it survived and left me with a core that could grow again.

I left Georgia. I left my family. I left everything that we had built over the last five years. It's true that divorce is akin to death. The grief was crushing, aging me years in a matter of months. I learned, sadly, what friendship really means and who truly cared about me and who didn't. I walked into the middle of the forest and lit a fire. I sat in the middle of it (I had no will or strength to stand) and burned. Flames turned to black smoke, which gave way to ash and I found myself finally able to see the old growth again. All the desperate new branches were destroyed, their thin and weak twigs unable to withstand the fire. But the old trunks were still there, and they now had a tough new armour of fire-hardened bark.

That is the point when you start to grow new branches and you get to decide exactly where they go. It's scary. Exciting yes, but mostly scary. For me, I accepted that my marriage was strong, it just had a couple thick, parasitic branches that hogged all the light and needed to be chopped off and cauterized. The fire did that. What's left is just us, and we're able to start our marriage again. We're lucky, I think. We came close to not surviving the fire.

I haven't seen my husband in two and a half months. I am living in the Pacific Northwest, thousands of miles in any direction from family and friends. I love the holidays, Christmas, presents, lights, cinnamon and clove coffee and pumpkin cookies. But I don't get any of that this year. At the end of the week I'll load up my car again and start the long drive back to Georgia, and when I get there it'll be the end of a literal and metaphorical journey. I just keep thinking how lucky I am that we survived the fire and can start over.

There isn't a moral to this story. Everyone's situation is different. For me, for my husband and I, we needed to succumb to the Destroyer, let her hurricane of fire burn everything to ash. And in the end, the field of blackened trees is strong and serene in the sun as she turns away, satisfied.


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